How women respond to advertising

I’ve just seen an offensive advert. I know, I know. I rant about advertising all the time. But this one has infuriated me.

A cereal company has launched something which is solely aimed at women. And perpetuates so many stereotypes that I don’t know where to start.

Ok, how about here:

1. It’s set in a shopping centre. Because that’s where all women congregate. As if we were under the influence of George A. Romero.

2. Fronted by a woman from a soap. Because all women love soap operas. Gives us something to talk about.

3. When given any opportunity, women in a crowd adore shouting ‘Woooooo!’. And waving our hands about. We get special training.

4. It’s all about getting enough fibre. Really? How about encouraging women to eat a balanced diet?

5. The only way women are capable of doing this, is if it’s covered in chocolate. We can’t eat anything unless it’s covered in chocolate. FACT. We’re like babies. And we obviously need guidance.

6. O M G!!! It’s low fat as well? But it’s covered in chocolate (see I remembered!). Are you saying I need to eat low fat? How did you know I’ve been thinking about a diet? That was what I thought about yesterday. The day before it was aqua aerobics. The day before that it was that vampire from True Blood. We can’t handle more than one thought per day.

7. We can all try the bar at the same time? Oooh I love feeling like I’m included in something.

8. Mmm, it tastes like sawdust but it’s good for me. A scientist told me so, and who am I to question a scientist? If the hairdresser from that programme says it, then that’s practically the same as a scientist right?

9. I’m so happy that I’ve found this miracle. I’m now going to go and buy Tampax Pearl and get that hair dye that the other woman off the telly says is good.

10. Oh where was I, oh yes mocking this stupid advert. See, typical woman, can’t concentrate on anything…

Ugh. Why can’t we have a little bit more respect for women than cheap, outdated ad campaigns. Did they commission Sterling Cooper on this one? If I’d been one of the women in the crowd, there’s no way I could have waited until being told to eat. Plus, if I want to cover things in chocolate before I eat them, I’ll dip kitkats in nutella, like I did when I was younger, which consequently ended the presence of both items in our house.

What the hell do any of these former soap stars know about the products they are promoting? Yoghurt that’s good for you, a premise I can accept. Tiff from Eastender telling me that she cares about my digestive system is one step too far. Why does she care? I don’t really trust her medical knowledge on this one.

To finish on a high note, have you seen the advert with the cow running down the beach? Makes me die laughing everytime.